As I am sitting here tonight, alone in my bed, I can't help but wonder about the "what if's." I know that God tells us that we should focus on him and not the what if's, but that is a hard thing to do sometimes. You think, what would me and William be talking about right now, what would he think of Hunter, what a great dad he would have been, etc.. I know that he would have loved Hunter and I believe that he is watching out for us everyday. It is also hard to turn a positive into a negative, but I look around when I am sad and see what blessings I do still have. I have a wonderful, health, happy baby boy, that helps me through my day. I have a home, loving and supportive family, food on our table, a job, a God that listens to all my troubles and burdens and still loves me. Though I miss William with all my heart and soul, I have to not only look at the negatives in life, I have to look at the positives to make it. I am also blessed that me and William got to spend 10 1/2 wonderful years together. Many couples don't get to have that kind of time. We dated 7 years before we had married and were married almost 3 years. It has truly been the greatest time of my life. We had a love that most people would dream about and I am so thankful that we did. We started dating at the age of 13 and 14. He would call me at home and hang up when me or my mom would answer. So cute. Then we finally started talking on the phone and on May 27, 2002 at 10:30pm, he asked me to be his girlfriend. Of course I said, sure. He gave me a hard time about that. lol. We went on our first date with his little brother and my friend. We went bowling. I never knew what God had planned for our lives at that moment. We went every where together. Our parents would take us to eachother's houses on the weekends and we would stay with eachother all day, then we would see eachother at school during the week. When I got my drivers license we were on the go. I would take him and his brother where ever they wanted to go and we would take the town. As time went on and we grew older, we learned who we were with eachother. Our likes became the same and our hobbies involved one another. There was never a second that I did not think of him. When we got out of high school and William started roping, we would drive all hours of the night and day to rodeo somewhere or for him to go to Abington, VA to practice. We went to a roping in Bristol, TN in 2007 and I will never forget, this man walked up to him and was talking and said, "She is your biggest fan, isn't she? I can tell." He said yes and I went everywhere with him. I was his own personal cheerleader. I loved him so much then and I loved him more and more as we grew older and closer. I love remembering those days and I pray that I can remember them always to keep close to my heart and to be able to tell Hunter. I want him to know of the love that me and his daddy had. I miss him terribly and wish he were laying here in this big lonely bed with me. He always liked to cuddle and would wake me up in the middle of the night if we were not close. I miss his strong body laying close to me. I long for the day that we will meet again and be able to cuddle. I have to remember when times get hard and my heart is more sad than normal, that God has truly blessed me with the extra time that we had when we were yong. It doesn't make it any easier, but at least I have those memories to hold on too. Until we meet again, I love you William and I miss you every day.